Wisdom For Today - April

[bluidkiti]

April 13

Wisdom for Today

There were literally thousands of reasons I drank and used drugs. I used because it was a good day, and I used because it was a bad day. I drank and used because I was happy, and I drank and used because I was miserable. I spent hour after hour trying to figure out why I could not drink or use like other people. Many of us seek help and advice from a variety of professionals. Some of us spend time in hospitals or in jails only to find out this offers only a temporary reprieve. Even when I thought I found out why I drank and used the way I did, it did not stop me from continuing my obsession.

Eventually I had to realize I had gone too far. I was over the edge and falling fast. I was drinking like an alcoholic. I was using drugs like an addict. Even this did not stop me. It gave me more reasons to use. I was destroying my life, and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t trying to destroy myself, but I couldn’t stop it either. My will to stop the insanity was defeated. In utter powerlessness I had to admit to myself that my way did not work. Figuring out the answers did not work. Understanding the reasons did not work. If I ever was going to stop, I had to find an answer that was not my answer. Have I stopped the obsession with trying my way?

Meditations for the Heart

Where would I find this answer if it was not going to be mine? To whom could I turn? “Ask, and you shall receive.” This line was where I found the answers to my obsession. I knew I could not stop the insanity on my own. What I didn’t know until I came into the program was that I could do almost anything if I asked for God’s help. Early in recovery I kept trying to convince myself that I was a useless person who could never do anything right. The program changed all that. I found that I could indeed accomplish much with the help of God, as I understood Him. If I called on His strength and wisdom, it was there waiting for me. All I had to do was accept this gift. All I had to do was follow, and I would be lead to a new place. I would lose the obsession. I would learn a new way of living my life. Have I accepted the gift of His grace?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

Today I pray for acceptance of the wonderful gift of Your grace in my life. Let me willingly follow You where I am being led. Help me to let go of my old ways of thinking and behaving and learn a new way of living my life. Help me to be rid of my obsession completely.

Amen.