Wisdom For Today - March

[bluidkiti]

March 20

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes it is just important to laugh at ourselves. When I look back at all the games I played and all the ways I tried to make bargains with myself, deny my problems, or just lie to myself, it is amazing that I am still here to talk about it. There is a story that dates back to the beginnings of the program that tells of a man who was meeting with the founders of the Twelve Step program. In this story the man is asked if he wants to stop drinking. He responds, “Yes, I need to stop for at least six to eight months.” The men meeting with him in the hospital at the time smile and laugh at his response. They laugh, not at him, but at themselves for they also played this game.

I needed people who would laugh at my insanity – people who would listen to the schemes, games and denial I presented and would laugh at me and with me. They were entitled to laugh because they had done the same crazy things. These individuals taught me to laugh at myself. They taught me to consider new options. They taught me to laugh at my own games. They taught me to laugh at my disease. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is no laughing matter. It is a matter of life and death. But learning to laugh at the insanity of my disease, the games, bargains, denial and dishonesty helped me to understand that my way would not work. Have I learned to laugh at my disease and myself?
Meditations for the Heart
Laughing at my disease and myself also had a spiritual benefit. Laughing at the insanity of my behavior taught me to be humble. Only a man who is not filled with egocentric pride can laugh at himself. Only a man who is not filled with arrogance and self-centeredness can laugh at himself, and humility is something that I lacked early in my recovery. Humility meant that I could admit my brokenness and that I could admit recovery was not possible without outside intervention. I love listening to others tell of their experiences. Invariably I hear them recount stories of crazy, stupid and useless attempts to control their behavior. I laugh sometimes out loud and sometimes on the inside because I realize how senseless my same attempts were. I laugh because of the humility I am given in recognizing my own powerlessness. Sometimes I even imagine that God, as I understand Him, must laugh, too. Does my laughter bring humility in the face of despair?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Teach me to laugh at myself. Teach me to laugh at all the desperate ways I used to play games with myself. Teach me to use this laughter to see myself in a new light. Teach me to use this laughter to understand the cunning and baffling ways my disease talks to me. Teach me to laugh at my disease. Teach me humility.

Amen.