Wisdom For Today - December

[bluidkiti]

December 5

Wisdom for Today

When I finally realized that I needed to change more than just my using, I was overwhelmed. I had no idea where to start. It seemed that my list of character defects was never ending. But as I listened at meetings and talked with my sponsor, things became more and more clear. The first thing I needed to do was learn how to care again. This was a complete reversal of direction for me. I had spent a lot of time behaving in very self-destructive behavior. I had so much self-hatred. My emotions were swimming around and all confused. Yet, I knew that if I could not find a way to care about myself, then nothing else would change.

I had to start “simple” - just caring for myself physically. This meant beginning to eat right. It also meant becoming more physically active. It also meant getting enough sleep. This is where I had to start; and to my surprise, my life started to feel more manageable. Then I needed to learn how to take care of myself emotionally, and finally I needed to learn to care for myself spiritually. The changes I felt were not sudden or immense. Each day they came in very small steps of progress. Some days I did a better job than others. Sometimes it felt like I was backsliding. Over time I slowly began to realize that caring for myself was something that seemed strange. It was selfish, but healthy. I also began to see that this was exactly what my Higher Power wanted me to do. Learning to care was the spark that would light a flame that would eventually lead me to learning how to care for others. Do I take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Meditations for the Heart

"God don't make junk!" I'm not sure where I first saw these words, but I do remember when I first realized that these words applied to me. God made me who I am for a reason. He did not make me an addict or an alcoholic; this happened for other reasons. But He did make me for something. It was not to be on the bottom of the junk pile. In learning to live again, I needed to see my life though my Higher Power's eyes. I began to see that God's plans for me were much better than the plans I had for myself. All I needed to do was allow God to work His Spirit into my life. A seed of caring was planted, and I was given tools to nurture this seed. So I worked the garden, and God provided both the rain and sunshine to help this seed of self-care take root and grow. Do I see that God wants me to care for myself?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I pray that I may let Your Spirit lead my life. I am so grateful for the care that You have given to me. It has helped me to see that I am not junk. Let me work diligently in the garden to nurture this seed of self-care. Help me understand that both Your sunshine and rain are needed to help this seed grow. Let me use the tools I have been provided to grow the wonderful garden of my life.
Amen.