[bluidkiti]

March 28

Quote of the Week

"The ‘why’ questions keep us in the problem."

In recovery, I have learned that the “why” questions always keep me in the problem—questions like, “Why did that have to happen?” or “Why didn’t/couldn’t she do this?” or “Why does it always have to turn out that way?” or “Why can’t I catch a break just once?” “Why” questions not only keep me focused on the problem, they almost always turn me into a victim as well.

As I worked the Steps of the program, many wonderful things began happening in my life, beginning with an awareness of my thinking and self-talk. My sponsor taught me about the “why” questions and encouraged me to look for solutions using who, what, how, and where questions instead. It was hard at first to break my old habits of thinking, but I got better as I learned to ask better questions.

Today when I have a problem or situation I don’t like, I ask questions like, “What are three things I can do right now to remedy this?” or “Who might have experience with this that I can call for help?” or “What lessons are here for me to learn and grow from?” or “Where can I get a solution for this?” These questions help me get out of the problem and into the solution. Today, I know how to ask better questions.