My Sponsor Told Me
 

MY SPONSOR TOLD ME

That I should begin praying out loud so I could hear the bull**** I was laying down.
That if I wanted to experience true humility I should try praying in the nude.
That ain't today. Whenever I started to worry about yesterday or project
tomorrow she would bring me back into the twenty-four hours I was in by
saying "That ain't today drama Queen ".
That clean time is like baseball. He said that when you are on a winning streak (pink cloud) you should work twice as hard so that when the slump inevitably comes, you will be on good footing.
That if I wanted what she had, I was going to have to do what she did to get it.
That I needed to quit pole-vaulting over mouse turds.
That all I had was today because EVERYTHING else belonged to God.
That my mind was like a parachute in that it couldn't work properly unless it was open.
That if I wasn't carrying the message I must be spreading the disease.
That if I would take the cotton out of my ears and stick it in my mouth for the first ninety days or so, I might accidentally learn something that would help me stay clean .
That if I lay down with dogs, it was inevitable that I would get up with flees.
That if I was so Freaking smart, what did I need her for?
That there were only two kinds of sponsors: the kind I wanted and the kind God wanted me to have.
Author Unknown